


The Wrong Avengers

by fabricdragon



Series: Rare Pairs and Special Requests [4]
Category: James Bond (Craig movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: 007 Fest, 007 Fest 2019, Alternate Universe - Fusion, BAMF Darcy Lewis, Canon-Typical Violence, Crossover, Gen, Genre Savvy, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Tags May Change
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-31
Updated: 2019-07-31
Packaged: 2020-07-28 01:54:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20056111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fabricdragon/pseuds/fabricdragon
Summary: Darcy Lewis was DONE with  supervillains and superweapons;  she was DONE with running and hiding and chasing after crazy scientists and super heroes; and she was MORE than done with super secret spy agencies that classified your whole internship.  so she went to London...and promptly ran into James Bond.





	1. I am NOT a sidekick!

**Author's Note:**

  * For [crazypolka](https://archiveofourown.org/users/crazypolka/gifts).

Darcy Lewis was determined to NOT be involved in anymore weird stuff. She was just going to finish out her doctorate in political science while staying FAR away from SHIELD, Super Heroes, Asgardian Gods, and Dimensional Portals that liked to abduct researchers!

Far away.

far , far away.

Sadly she couldn't afford to go to India or Hong Kong or anyplace that far, plus she wasn't at all certain she wanted to try to learn a whole new language while also trying to adjust to a PhD studies program that didn't involve, you know, weird shit….

So London it was.

They spoke English here, kind of.

Her complete determination to avoid or ignore ANYTHING strange- or anyone that could be a superhero, God, or otherwise trouble- is probably why she turned and walked the other way when she saw the good looking guy get out of the crazy fancy sports car and run into the building. _WAY too much like Tony Stark- probably seriously epic shit going down… which means it's a REALLY good time to grab a quick photo of the car, post on Instagram about how a sensible girl gets out of town when good looking guys in expensive clothes jump out of a car and run into buildings…_

_ And leave. _

Unfortunately taking the time to post- even while moving- meant she didn't get far enough away.

While the rest of the Londoners were looking around going “huh, what?” - or the local equivalent- Darcy was cataloging that sound as “probable weapon” and diving for cover… which was good because shortly after that the entire wall of the building- the one the car dude had gone into- pretty much exploded.

Car dude dove off the third floor and fairly well surfed down the debris-_ knew he was some kind of hero or something_. He almost made it down clean except for the obvious supervillain with the obvious superweapon who got some kind of a shot off at him. Car dude crashed and collapsed and stayed conscious long enough to try to get under cover, while drawing a pistol- and they don't have a lot of those in London- so basically? Right in front of her.

“Supervillain dude is likely to come looking for you, you know.” she hissed at him, “I’m a civilian- kind of- isn't it your hero duty to draw him off or something?”

He tried to look at her, muttered something unintelligible- or maybe it was a code- and passed out. _ Great, JUST great… _


	2. Not Exactly the New Bond Girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> head trauma, weird energy weapons, or tequila- pick two

Bond woke up slowly...he was still dressed, but someone had taken off his shoes? Well that seemed a lot better than the usual captured… _ I have a concussion i think? _ He mentally ordered his thoughts and checked his response times- _ yes, concussion; also bruised and _…

“So, rich car superhero guy… I made coffee- i would have made tea but every English person I meet tells me i suck at it, so coffee it is.” American voice, female...and… odd- not a seductive voice or even a ‘trying to make friends so you trust me’ voice? 

Bond slowly opened his eyes, “I think I have a concussion…”

“Probably: a whole wall came down and you almost but didn't quite surf it- but the bad guy hit you with a weapon, dunno what kind but … not projectiles? So concussion or energy blast- which is kind of concussion i guess?” she held out a cup, “Coffee?”

She was going a bit fast for his ability to process right now, but coffee sounded like a splendid idea. “Help me sit up?”

As she did he got a good look at the woman: initial impression- _ hipster, sloppy, a bit overweight? _ \- Second impression- _ not overweight but wearing oversized clothing because of her chest size, definitely an odd clothing style, possibly university? Intelligent face bu _t… he blinked again and the room came into focus. “This is your flat?”

“Yeah- don't get any ideas, I just didn't have money for a hotel or anything and i didn't want to get into your wallet.”

He looked around “university?” 

He must have said it out loud because she started nodding vehemently, “yeah, not a dorm- whatever you call those- but a room off campus? I had to get us away from the crazed supervillain with the super weapons.” she frowned and pointed a finger at him firmly, “YOU are falling down on the hero job, you know: you are supposed to rescue ME.”

“Am I?” Bond chuckled faintly as he sipped his coffee. His head was spinning and his nerves felt wrong- his coordination was shot to hell, so it probably had been an energy weapon that hit him.

“Duh? You’re the suave rich hero with the great car- I’m the spunky girl research assistant… its like the rules!”

“... how do you know i have a great car?” Bond blinked in confusion and then, “Oh Lord, Q is going to kill me…”

“Who’s Q?”

“Ah… I hadn't… realized i said that out loud…” Bond considered- highly unlikely this very strange woman was a spy, but in any event she’d already heard a great deal. “Q- the Quartermaster? Ah… I was driving his car- technically.”

“Oh… I dunno what that means? Isn't Quartermaster like… for the navy?”

“Same concept…” Bond fell back onto the pillows- luckily the girl caught the coffee.

“Yeah, you got walloped really hard- do you… do you have like any other heroes to call?”

Bond frowned, “Actually… they… how long has it been?”

“Uhh…” She fumbled for a bedside alarm clock, “i guess… like five hours? Since the big boom…more or less- i could find out exactly but my phone battery died and my charger cable has gone missing.”

“They should have found me by now.”

“They? The good guys i hope?”

“There are no good guys in my business,” Bond said tiredly, and then once again realized he’d said that out loud, “My apologies… I seem to have lost a lot of my…” he was struggling to keep his eyes open- eventually he gave up and closed them.

“Filters,” she nodded, “can happen with head trauma, weird energy weapons, and or tequila.”

"...I like tequila… it's actually much nicer than scotch…” he was drifting again… he distantly felt a blanket being tucked around him.

“Out again? Oh well… at least you were easier to drag into a car than Thor…”


End file.
